Do vagina's smell?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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