And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
