How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
