I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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