were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
