New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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