god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
