in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
