Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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