Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
