In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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