break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
