WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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