why didn't you poke me back
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
