I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize