Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
