2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
