Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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