It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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