ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
