Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
