I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
