please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
