He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
