One girl and one boy is just not enough.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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