Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
