did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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