Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
