i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
