Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
