i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Randomize
