I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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