We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
