I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
