We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
