i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
