were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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