You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize