I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
