I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
