i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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