I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
