all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
