So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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