A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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