This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
