Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Randomize
