Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
