By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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