I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
