Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
