i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize