He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
