we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize