ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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