I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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