i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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