I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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