Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
