Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
