Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize