wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
