So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
babies were throwing up all over the place
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
