It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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