fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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