I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
