Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
